


Light of Morning

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The cold light of morning rose across England and fell over Gavin’s bedroom in a sickly glow. His new apartment was empty if it wasn’t for the boxes littering the living room. Gavin’s phone was settled against the tiles of his kitchen floor, discarded out of pure anger."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light of Morning

As Michael sat in his living room that night, nothing felt settled within him anymore. He feared, in an aching part of his mind, that nothing would ever feel right inside him again. The worst part cut deeper than any blade could have managed. No matter how much time he spent thinking over it, crying over it, breaking every object he could find just to take away that sickening feeling – it all mulled down to one fact. It was Michael’s fault. And now nothing could be changed.

If he’d have tried to fix things when they were still tangible, maybe things wouldn’t have hurt so badly. But the fact was he hadn’t. They’d crossed a barrier between themselves that Michael couldn’t have dreamt even existed; he didn’t even think it had existed until he'd gone.

Michael could feel every fibre of his body freeze as he sat in his dining room that night. There was a window open somewhere; he could feel the cold draught grazing over his skin but he couldn’t find the energy to move. His whole body felt stiff and heavy, a weight settled over his chest that he hadn’t been able to remove for some time now. He couldn’t even face turning the lights on. Only the sickly glow of lights outside highlighted any shadows in the room.

His emotions seemed to pulsate within him in waves, rendering him even more dejected each time round. As he felt the all too familiar sting of tears in the corner of his eyes, he considered sleeping to end this dreadful night. Yet, deep down, he knew sleep would not claim him. Many a night now he’d settled for hours, tossing and turning and crying in frustration as rest evaded him. His thoughts would always overlap themselves. They’d always return to Gavin.

Michael felt himself cringe again, wishing he couldn’t think or register what had happened over these few months. He wished he could blot out any memory of him, but all he could do was think of Gavin. Only Gavin.

  
**…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...  
**  


   _“Gavin, fucking move.” He laughed, that trademark wheeze lacing his voice as he tried desperately not to drop the drunken figure clinging to his side. “We’re gunna fall… **Gavin**!”_

_Gavin just laughed, eyes shutting with the force of it, all teeth and smiles and beaming with drunken bliss. Even in such an inebriated state, Michael thought he looked beautiful._

_Even as Gavin tripped, nearly pulling Michael to the floor with rickety legs, he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed, not even slightly. They piled into a taxi, Gavin waving animatedly to the group they left behind as Michael gave the driver his address._

_“Michael! **Michael**! What about my house?” The Brit near shouted, causing Michael to giggle and hush him at the same time._

_“We’re going to my house.”_

_“But why?” Gavin asked, seemingly unable to comprehend anything Michael tried to explain._

_“You’re drunk, Gavin. That’s why.”_

_Gavin gasped in mock astonishment, falling into a fit of laughter soon after as Michael put a hand across his stomach, trying to still his silent chuckles. As Gavin started to reel the driver into some unknown conversation, Michael watched him, head tilted against the back of the seat. There was something about him that night._

_The taxi ride to Michael’s wasn’t a long one; before they knew it Michael was desperately trying to haul Gavin into his apartment. As he shut the front door with a click, he felt Gavin’s hands curl around him, back against his chest. The Brit began mumbling into Michael’s ear, he could barely make out half of the words._

_“You’re so fucking drunk.” Michael mused, smile widening as he felt the other mimic his expression against his neck._

_It was a battle of wills to pry Gavin away, heading towards Michael’s room in a stumble. He sat the Brit on the bed, all intentions of sleeping on the sofa. Before he headed out, he removed his glasses and put them on his bedside table, running a hand through his auburn curls. He was more tired than he’d realised, the buzz of alcohol simmering down gradually._

_Gavin watched as Michael slipped his glasses off, an unreadable expression across his features. All humour seemed to have bubbled down into something more anxious, settling in the pit of his stomach like a furnace. Michael flipped the light switch of the bedroom, drowning the pair in near darkness. He took a last look back at Gavin, eyebrows furrowed as the Brit watched him._

_“You alright, Gav?”_

_Gavin nodded, visibly swallowed before he stood up. “Yeah...Michael?”_

_“Hm?”_

_He didn’t know if it had been the alcohol or something that had been building up for longer than they could pin-point. Michael always liked to think that when Gavin pushed him against the wall that night, lips locking and hands clutching, it was just something that they couldn’t have ignored any longer. Gavin's hands curled around his waist, one settling at the bottom of his back. Michael never even hesitated  Never even questioned when his own arms came to rest around Gavin's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. When they pulled away, eyes meeting as Gavin pressed his forehead against Michael’s, neither wanted anything to change in that moment. Something built inside them that night, something that could never have been removed, but was so fragile all the same._

  
**…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...  
**  


Michael could feel himself coming undone as the memory came flooding back. He didn’t want to feel so vulnerable anymore. He was tired, so utterly fed up of it all. Ever since that moment, nothing was the same again. What had managed to fill a missing piece within Michael had turned into the biggest mistake of his life. Michael was dragged away from his thoughts from the bright light of his phone, gently vibrating against the wooden table. He didn’t bother to pick it up, merely staring as the light died and he was met with silence once more.

It had been stupid to think that they could have made something out of what happened that night. Gavin wasn’t ready for a relationship, never mind one as controversial as theirs. And Michael knew, even when he fought with Gavin for the hundredth time about it, that even if he was able to coax something from Gavin, he was too scared to provide everything to keep them going. He’d never have the nerve the let something like that go beyond closed doors.

Time dragged that night longer than he could ever remember. Soon enough, Michael lifted his aching body and headed for his bedroom, wanting nothing more but to sleep and another day to finish. His phone rang to itself, forgotten as Michael shut the door to his room. As the man lay across his empty bed, all Michael could concentrate on was what he’d lost. The last image that filled his head taunted him.

  
**…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**  


   “ _Michael?_ ”

_Gavin’s voice was almost inaudible in the room, nothing but a few cars could be heard from beyond the window of Michael’s apartment. Nothing but comfort and the light of morning radiated within those four walls. Michael shifted as Gavin turned on the bed, facing him and resting his head under the other’s chin. Almost by instinct, Michael’s arms tightened around him, running his fingers across Gavin’s spine._

_“Yeah?”_

_“We could be like this all the time. Y’know?”_

_It was such a simple statement. Michael longed to be able to smile and say what he wished he could believe. He longed to be able to tell Gavin that they could be like this outside of his apartment. Most of all, he wished he didn't have to lie._

_“I know, Gavin.”_

_**…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**   **…   ...**_

The cold light of morning rose across England and fell over Gavin’s bedroom in a sickly glow. His new apartment was empty if it wasn’t for the boxes littering the living room floor. Gavin's phone was settled against the tiles of his kitchen floor, discarded out of pure anger. He slept fitfully, thoughts stirring him in and out of slumber. As he woke up to a painfully empty bed, the same image disturbed him like it had done so many mornings before.

_“I know, Gavin.”_

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/40448582824/light-of-morning


End file.
